“Mary” suffered severe trauma as a child and lives an isolated, lonely life.  Although she battles depression and anxiety attacks, and has few job skills, she is determined to turn her life around.  She has been going out daily to look for a job.  Mary has been told she is very good with people but her hair and clothing need to be more professional.  However, she has had no money to pay for a haircut or new clothing.

Mary was “astounded and teary-eyed” when her therapist presented a Family to Family Fund gift of $200.00 to her.  She lost no time in getting her hair cut and purchasing a “job-hunting” outfit.  Her confidence was “really boosted” by being able to look better and she now has an interview for a job as a bank teller.  Mary sends her deepest gratitude to all of you who cared enough to help someone like her.

If you would like to join in this magical gift of giving, donate now at www.fsamarin.org.

Happy Holidays!

“Linda,” a single 35 year-old mother with two daughters, ages 11 and 2, had to recently relinquish custody of her kids because she suffers from Huntington’s Disease, which is progressive (both of her brothers, in more advanced stages of the disease, live in rest homes).  Linda, now in a wheelchair, has struggled with depression and alcoholism most of her life, but has been sober for five months and is a loving, affectionate mother.  Her daughters are deeply attached to her.  She barely subsists on SDI, has no steady home, and lives with a series of friends.

Linda was incredibly surprised by the Family to Family Fund award and was thrilled that with this donation, she was able to play “Santa Claus” to her little girls and to buy gifts for her brothers.  That anonymous gift to Linda and her family helped boost their sense of hope and provide them with a much-needed feeling of delight in their otherwise difficult holiday season.

If you would like to join us in this magical gift of giving, donate now at www.fsamarin.org.

Happy Holidays!

As the Holiday Season approaches, many of us think of the warmth and comfort of family. For too many families in Marin, however, this season is wrought with hardships – parents unable to feed their children, let alone to provide them with gifts and cheer during the holidays. But there are several stories with happy, hopeful endings thanks to the FAMILY TO FAMILY FUND, which began with the generosity and leadership of the Randy Fong family and was established by the FSA Board in 1991 to assist agency clients facing extraordinary needs during the holiday season.

This is the way the FAMILY TO FAMILY FUND works:  FSA staff confidentially identify potential recipients from among the many deserving families in their caseloads. A donation from a donor family is matched to the needs of the recipient family.  After the gift is made, the donor family receives a letter that describes the specific gift and the impact of that gift.

Some examples of recipients who have benefited from the Family to Family Fund include: one family, temporarily impoverished due to both parents losing their jobs, was able to continue providing music lessons for their gifted teenage son.  Another family – an unemployed single mother with four children who lived in a cramped motel room because she couldn’t save money for a rental deposit – was able to rent an apartment, as well as purchase some much-needed warm clothes for her kids.

This month, I’d like to share some of the true stories of FSA family clients who have been touched by the FAMILY TO FAMILY FUND. The recipients have not asked for financial assistance from the agency and are, without exception, deeply surprised and touched by the gift.

Donate now at www.fsamarin.org.

I hope that you will join us in the holiday spirit of giving!
Alissa Steiner

Maribel, age 7, was molested repeatedly by a male relative who often cared for her during mother’s long work hours.   Upon discovering the abuse, Maribel’s mother sought help immediately.  Prior to treatment, Maribel experienced nightmares and extreme anxiety. Her mother felt so guilty about the molest that she needed help coping with her own feelings before she could be available for her daughter.

During therapy, mother and daughter learned that the molest was not their fault.  The little girl also mastered ways to better protect herself and became empowered about saying “no” to “bad touches,” even if it meant saying no to a (formerly) trusted adult. This was challenging for the little girl because, especially in her culture, adult males are to be respected and obeyed.

Maribel’s mother explored ways that she could work long hours and still create a safer, more nurturing environment for her daughter.  They both made peace with their feelings of shame, especially in group treatment where they met others who had experienced similar situations.

Prior to the incident, they lived an isolated lifestyle with very little support from family or friends.  In the group, they made new friends and have become part of a new, stronger “communidad” (community) where they are accepted and supported.  Maribel said about her work at FSA, “Therapy is a good way to get my bad feelings and thoughts out of my heart.”

FSA’s Childhood Trauma program provides therapy and education to children and their families who are victims of:

• Sexual Abuse
• Physical and Emotional Abuse
• Domestic Violence
• Post-traumatic Stress Disorder

For more information and contact for these valuable services, please visit http://www.fsamarin.org/ctp.html.

Marianne Gabelman, Director of Communication and Resource Development

Amid the numerable losses that Family Service Agency has suffered as a result of the economic downturn are the funds we need to keep up our suicide prevention & crisis hotline.

For more than 35 years, every day, 24-hours a day, Marin’s Suicide Prevention & Crisis Hotline has offered a warm hand of hope to those who need it the most.  The Hotline operates the county’s only 24-hour suicide/crisis telephone counseling service, responding to nearly 10,000 calls for help each year.

In addition, because bereavement is a major factor in suicide, the Hotline’s Grief Counseling Program (developed 32 years ago with the support of the Marin Coroner’s Office) provides intensive, no-fee counseling to Marin residents who have lost a loved one.  Working closely with the Coroner’s Office, more than 300 families are contacted and offered support after the death of a family member each year.

Before the implementation of the hotline 35 years ago, Marin County’s rate of suicide was three times the national average. Studies show that today, we are consistent with statistics for the rest of the country. This just shows how providing support to those who feel lost and hopeless does make a difference. Studies show that 90% of people who commit suicide suffer from depression, anxiety, addiction, or other disorders. If we can provide more funding for our prevention hotline and publicize its availability, more people can get the help they need before it’s too late.

You can make a difference by donating here: https://secure.groundspring.org/dn/index.php?aid=3711

Take good care of yourself! All the best.

Alissa Steiner

Today, staff members of FSA informed me about TeenScreen and I was immediately compelled to share it here. This innovative and promising program was developed at Colombia University to raise awareness of the important struggles teens face and to promote their mental wellness. TeenScreen is a 12-minute self-administered computer questionnaire that includes screening for depression, suicidal thinking and attempts, anxiety, social phobia, substance use, post-traumatic stress, eating disorders and general health problems, followed by a short interview with a counselor. When a significant number of flags are raised, students are called in for a longer, clinical interview, and when the counselor believes there is further evaluation needed, they will provide local referrals and resources for the student and his or her family.

Family Service Agency screened Sophomores at Drake and Redwood High Schools in 2008/2009, where about 20% of students were screened upon parental approval. 36 went on to the longer, clinical interview and 23 of them were offered case management or referral for further follow-up. Exit surveys at Redwood found the majority of students who were screened had found the program helpful and had learned more about themselves and their own coping skills.

It is extremely important for parents to stay aware of their teen’s mental health –depression, anxiety and stress in teens can lead to suicidal thoughts, drug abuse, eating disorders, among other dangers. Depression in teens can be difficult to detect, because they may not seem sad.

Depressed teens may:

• Feel restless, irritated, or tired.
• Become socially isolated.
• Have frequent school absences/poor grades.
• Abuse alcohol or drugs.
• Display reckless behavior.
• Stop doing sports and being with friends.
• Lose weight or gain weight.
• Sleep too much or too little.
• Feel sad and cry a lot.
• Have thoughts about death and suicide.

FSA is now able to screen teens individually at our main office in San Rafael.  If you or a teen you know is feeling anxious or depressed, or is at-risk for alcohol or drug abuse, please don’t hesitate to find out more about this quick and simple screening.

For more information about TeenScreen, call (415) 491-5700.

Take good care of yourself! All the best.

Alissa Steiner

I have become increasingly aware of how the ways we view and talk to ourselves shape our choices and how we relate to the world. Unfortunately, low self-esteem proves to be a huge obstacle for too many people  – oftentimes it stops us from enjoying relationships, doing the things we want to do, and from working toward our life goals and dreams.

Low self-esteem can range in severity and in the way it manifests itself in us, so first, let’s explore what we mean by good self-esteem.  In its truest sense, healthy self-esteem embodies two aspects: the experience of being capable of meeting life’s challenges (competence) and feeling worthy of happiness

Tips to build a stronger sense of competence:

• Make an accurate self-appraisal (be realistic – not too harsh or too easy.  Ask for feedback from a trusted friend or counselor for your self-assessment).
• Work on overcoming adversities and bouncing back from failures.
• Break difficult tasks into small steps. Your competence will grow as you master each step toward the larger goal.
• Assume responsibility for your actions by looking realistically at what you can do to be more successful in the situation you’re facing. When we blame others or outside events for life’s difficulties we lock ourselves into being victims.
• Maintain your integrity by living in accordance with your own values.  This will help engender your sense of self-worth.

The way we see ourselves affects the way others perceive us. Having a healthy and positive relationship with yourself will show people that you feel worthy of love and success. Don’t be afraid to praise and care for yourself – when you put forth the effort to overcome low self-esteem, you’ll realize just how much you can accomplish!

If you have any questions, need help, or just want more information please call me or my boss, Marianne Gabelman at (415) 491-5705.

Take good care of yourself! All the best.

Alissa Steiner

We are going to be blogging. Please check in often for new articles, news, and information.